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21 January 2008 @ 05:06 am
The Czech is in the Male  
This is a gift for duckduck and my entry in the Radek Zelenka thing-a-ton, hosted by alyse...or at least the first half of it. I somehow mixed up the deadline, thinking it to be the 28th of January instead of the 20th - don't ask me how, I'm just stupid like that at times. I'm terribly sorry! Hopefully this will be enough for now, I'll have the next part up tomorrow night.

EDIT: Since this isn't a very long fic I decided on adding the second part to the first instead of making an entirely new post. The new part is shown by there being a ---- instead of **** when the scen changes. I hope that won't be too confusing.

Challenge: breeze, smirk, blue, happy ending, no non-con
Title: Watch what you think
Rating: PG
Pairing: Zelenka/McKay
Warnings/Spoilers: Mild violence, possible spoilers up to episode 13 of season 4.
Word Count: 4,059
Summary: Few scientists believe that you can 'jinx' a situation. Even so, Murphy's Law is a strong force.

Five hours in the lab, all of which, he was sad to admit, had passed very slowly. Two hours waiting for simulations to run, only to be disappointed by the lack of results. And to top it all off he only had a night of approximately four hours’ sleep to look forward to. Rodney was due back early from his latest off-world mission and if he’d found what he was hoping too – which actually was likely this time – he’d want to the whole science team working on it as soon as humanly possible. Better not think ‘could this get any worse’, because that would…

*Dr Zelenka, please report to the Briefing Room.*

Too late.


Radek was the last to arrive to the meeting, meaning he got the chair that wobbled. Also Dr Carter had that air about her again, which always led to him experiencing a sinking feeling in the region of his stomach. He already knew what this briefing was about.

Dr Carter waited for everyone to settle down before standing up and walking over to one of the portable monitors. She activated it. The tense silence was swiftly exchanged from the hiss of static, mixed with the sound of the wind howling and gunfire in the background. Colonel Sheppard’s face – which took up most of the camera view – was barely recognizable as he appeared to have taken a bath in a puddle of mud. He was shouting, attempting to make his voice carry over the sound of the storm and the fighting.

*Natives proved to be less friendly than we thought. Ronon and Lorne’s team are holding them off for now, but…* static *…give shelter enough. They’re blocking they way to the Gate…* static *…not guarding it. We can hold them off for maybe…* The screen went black.

“Unfortunately that is the entire message,” Dr Carter said, turning to face the people gathered around the table. “We sent a M.A.L.P. immediately after we received this. The area close to the Stargate appears to be free; we’re still getting a live video feed and there has been no sign of activity in the vicinity of the Gate. Apparently the people attacking aren’t too concerned about being ambushed. What they’re after is most likely something on the planet – what we ourselves came to get or possibly one of our men.”

Radek fisted his hands under the table.

“Major Walker, I want you to lead the backup team. Dr Keller, please have a medical team standing by in the Gate Room as soon as possible.” These orders were followed by a lot of military strategy talk. Radek tried to keep up with it, but he found his mind straying, distracted by…

“…assume they are armed with energy weapons of some sort. Radek, this is where your team comes in.” He started, not at all expecting to be addressed. ”Are the disruptors you and Miko found operational?”


Rodney’s head ached like hell. Sadly, that was the good part of this situation, since it meant he still had a head. What had hit him this time, a Wraith stunner? Or had Ronon finally fulfilled that threat of knocking him unconscious? Probably not. Sheppard would have stopped him, if only to not have to carry him all the way back to the Gate.

“So you’re awake then.” The voice wasn’t familiar, but at this point he didn’t much care. He was hurt, he was tired and for some reason the people in the infirmary were making enough noise to compete with a herd of angry elephants. What where they doing, fixing the scanner with a jackhammer?

“Keep it down, will you! I’ve got a killer headache and-“ His angry rant ended in a pained gasp – mostly due to the swift kick in the stomach he’d just gotten. Not the infirmary then.

Opening his eyes Rodney found himself on a fairly sad excuse of a bed, inside a jail cell. Not one of the old fashion Earth cells of course – he should just be so lucky – but neither was it Wraith made, which was something at least. He blinked a few times, clearing his head enough to be able to focus his eyes on the three men in front of him. They were dressed in mismatched clothes and looked like they’d just come out of a fire fight, guns still at the ready. One had an arm in a sling. Rodney didn’t recognize any of them. Perfect.

“Greetings Dr McKay,” the man in the middle said, with a smirk that promised more than just kicks in the stomach if he didn’t shut up and pay attention. Of all the places to be famous the Pegasus Galaxy was probably the worst of the worst. “What a fortunate accident that you should join us. You see, we are in need of your assistance.” That didn’t sound too good.

The man turned around, muttering something to the other two before walking out of the cell. Three seconds later Rodney found himself hauled off the bed and on his way down a corridor, towards that god-awful noise. It was about halfway there that he realized he was on a spaceship. If it hadn’t been for the imminent threat of a beating he would have groaned out loud.


So far so good. The M.A.L.P. had been untouched when they arrived and they hadn’t been ambushed – yet. Walker’s team had formed a semicircle around Radek and Miko, who was looking quite pale and hugging her disruptor close to her chest. Radek assumed he didn’t look much better.

Walker signaled for everyone to stop when they reached the outskirts of a glade. “I detect seven life signs moving towards us. From what I can tell they’re being chased by a much larger group. Docs, take cover and get that thing working. The rest of you get ready to return enemy fire.”

Radek and Miko, flanked by two of the marines, hurry to take shelter, each of them on opposite sides of the glade. Radek unpacked his tablet and activated the interface to the disruptor, which in its turn lit up. It didn’t take him long to connect to Miko’s part of the device, which made him breathe a sigh of relief. Hopefully this would work and things would be a lot easier for them – or it wouldn’t and they’d have to fight their way back to the Gate the way they usually did.

For once not working under pressure – at least not the kind created when one’s results could mean life or death for fellows, instead of just being an advantage - Radek found himself almost regretted that. The stress would have served as a good distraction from the fact that the party Rodney had gone through the Gate with had consisted of eight men.

The marine next to him raised his weapon, which snapped Radek out of his concentration. As he was finished with his part of the activation process he took a moment to peek around the tree trunk he was kneeling behind. There was no sound of gun fire yet; it should be safe to at least take in his surroundings a little.

He immediately spotted Colonel Sheppard, half hidden behind the trees on the other side of the glade. He was waving his hands wildly and shouting, but he was too far away for any of them to hear what he was trying to communicate – his body language spoke volumes on its own though. A repeat performance of that cold, sinking feeling took place in Radek’s stomach.

The world around him suddenly flickered and took on a faint silvery sheen. Miko must have finished activating her part of the disruptor. Colonel Sheppard’s arm waving got more frantic. He didn’t move from where he was standing, not even when Radek heard Walker say, *Colonel we’ve activate a shield,* over the radio. There was a moment’s pause, when they all waited for a reply that didn’t come.

Everyone started to shift nervously. “Why the hell have they stopped?” someone to Radek’s left muttered. Sheppard’s waving had changed to a beckoning motion now. Major Walker looked indecisive, but finally raised his right hand to signal the group to advance. That was the last thing Radek saw before the world turned white.


If Rodney was to rank all the weird stuff that had happed to him during his stay in Atlantis, this would at least make the top ten.

“Answer me!”

It wasn’t quite like hallucinating or suddenly being transported to another place – both situations he was depressingly familiar with. He was still in the same room and he was hearing and seeing everything ‘real’ (or at least he hoped so), but at the same time there was something else. Not the fickle illusions he’d experienced when, for example, under the influence of a drug or fever. It was more like information, impressions that didn’t fit with his surroundings.


There was a scent of fresh grass in the air and if he hadn’t been so sure he was inside an airtight vessel, he could have sworn he felt a breeze. And who was Kenre? He was sure he knew someone named Kenre, but from where? And why was he important now?

A slap in the face ended his confusion.

“What is it doing to you?”

“It’s…” he began to reply, attempting to tune out the strange smells, feelings and memories that kept popping up. His eyes refocused and he was almost surprised to find Honl – it was the captain’s name, though Rodney couldn’t recall anyone telling him that – kneeling in front of him. When had he ended up on the floor? “It’s…”

“Captain!” a man over by the far wall shouted, interrupting. The captain didn’t look at all pleased, but turned around, leaving Rodney to slip back into himself. At least that was what it felt like.

Before he completely lost track of what the people around him was talking about he heard the man by the wall say: “Kenre just took something onboard.”


“Looks like your aim is as bad as ever.”

Radek flinched at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. Trying to get his bearings he opened his eyes, but didn’t get up. Making sudden movements didn’t seem like a good idea. There were boots in front of him, with legs attached. He assumed they ended in people of some kind, but he had no clue as to who said people would be.

The boots closest to him shifted, agitated, or so it seemed. “He must have something on him! He’s one of the Lanteans. Search him!”

That’s when Radek realized he was lying on the disruptor. And that it was undamaged.

There are moments in life when your actions are more instinct than calculated thought. One might think that Radek, being a scientist, had few such moments. One would be wrong. Logical thinking can sometimes get in the way of a solution and Radek knew that very well. That’s why he hurried to activate the disruptor while the men were arguing. He was on his feet and running before they’d noticed he’d started to glow silver.


For a good ten seconds, all Rodney could do was stare. His mouth must have been hanging wide open, but he just couldn’t make himself close it. Was this thing making him see the dead now? And apparently not very well either, since the person in front of him wasn’t supposed to be dead. He gritted his teeth. Of course not, not dead.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!”

Radek – or ghosty, glowy Radek – stared back at him. His surprised expression quickly turned to one of annoyance, but Rodney was almost sure he saw some worry in there somewhere. Or was he just worried himself?

“Most likely,” Radek hissed back, out of breath, “the same thing as you.” His attention turned to the wall next to the door. With a panicked air about him he opened its control panel. It was first then that Rodney heard the sound of steps, a lot of them, coming down the corridor, towards them. Running steps. Running, angry steps – or at least steps with very angry owners. He was next to Radek in a heartbeat.

“Why haven’t you closed the door yet!” he managed to shout, Radek’s panic now his own.

Radek gave him an angry glare, but didn’t take his eyes off the wires in front of them. He began muttering. Rodney could have sworn that, even though Radek had to be speaking Czech, he understood each and every curse coming out of his mouth.

To distract himself from these sudden, unknown language skills, Rodney helped with rewiring the door. A moment later it slammed shut in the face of whoever had been hunting Radek. It was then that he spotted what Radek was holding.

“Oh, so the disruptors were finished.”

Radek cursed some more.


“Mutiny?” Sheppard had a thin sort-of-smile on his face. Combined with the crossed arms and glare, he was clearly communicating that he believed that story to be about as true as that one with the girl in a red hood.

Larrin didn’t flinch at the not so veil accusation. “Yes, mutiny. The ship’s captain was overthrown by Honl, his crazed second in command. He doesn’t have a lot of followers, but they’re clever – managed strand the rest of their crew. They were long gone before the distress call reached us.”

“What is he after?” Carter broke in, ignoring Sheppard.

The picture flickered. Larrin reached out for something off-screen and appeared to adjust it. The flickering stopped. “Technology, what else? Honl apparently had heard of something truly valuable from one of the Tean. He believed it to be,” she paused, looking both amused and angry, “’what would save us’ or something to that effect.”

“I thought you’d be all for that.”

Surprisingly enough this comment of Sheppard’s actually seemed to hit home. Larrin narrowed her eyes. “We only leave our own on the surface of a planet when we absolutely have to,” she said in a low, stiff tone of voice. “To take a fully functional ship, for whatever reason, leaving so many behind to be preyed upon is unforgivable.”

Sheppard’s smile, fake as it had been, disappeared. “We’ll help,” he said before Carter could open her mouth. They have Zelenka and McKay, was left unspoken.

Larrin gave a curt nod, meeting Sheppard’s steady gaze with a similar of her own. “We’ll contact you as soon as we have their coordinates.” She reached out for something off-screen again. The transmission was terminated.


Had Rodney been feeling like himself, this would have been the kind of situation in which he would have voiced his thoughts aloud (more commonly known as ‘whining’ among the rest of Atlantis’ population). As it was he could just sit and try to ignore the rest of the world.

“Rodney. RODNEY!” It was eerier to have Radek’s shouting be followed by thoughts. Not Rodney’s thoughts, no, because he didn’t remember ever thinking in Czech. But Radek was shaking him too much for him to able to concentrate on solving that riddle.

“WHAT?!” He hadn’t meant for his voice to be that loud, but to be fair Radek had started it.

Being screamed in the face didn’t seem to faze Radek. To be frank he almost looked relieved. But not for long. “I do not know how long the door will hold them out. They are more familiar with their own ship, I am sure. We must find an escape way.”

From what Rodney could see the room didn’t appear to have any handy escape routes, just one door and plies of junk. And…snow? Why was he seeing snow?

“What is wrong?” The voice felt somewhat far off. It took him a while to remember that it was Radek who was speaking to him. What was wrong? When had he started to feel like this now again? Oh! Oh yes…

“The bracelet.” Rodney held up his right arm so Radek could have a closer look at the device on it. “We found it in the temple the database indicated actually; accurate information for once.” He tried to get up, but didn’t manage until his second attempt and then he swayed a little. Radek took a step closer to him, but didn’t touch him. “I was carrying it, when we were heading back to the Gate. Heard one of the guards here say something about a homing mechanism they have that locks on to Ancient tech – at least I think he said it.”

He took a moment to try and remember, but quickly gave up. Radek’s eyes did that narrowing-in-suspicious-worry they did at times. Rodney swayed again. “Anyways, that’s most likely why I ended up joining it up here. And then they wanted someone to try the damn thing on. Just my luck.” This time when he swayed he felt his knees give out. Radek hurried to grab him before he could fall.

Even though Radek was shouting – muttering? No he was shouting, but what was that background noise? – something about staying awake, and how he was an idiot for not taking ‘the damned thing’ off as soon as the guards had left the room, Rodney could only focus on the burst of light that had come with the physical contact. It was as if someone had opened a window, letting in fresh air.. It let him think; let him understand what was happening.

Radek reached for the bracelet-like machine wrapped around Rodney’s arm. He was halted by Rodney’s hand on his. And then there was this pull, sideways, inside both of their heads.

They began building without saying a word.

Halfway through the construction Radek’s mind sort of…Rodney couldn’t find a way to explain it well, not even to himself, but it was as if it split. The majority of it was still focused on the task at hand, but part of it, almost as if it was a background of some kind, held entirely different things. He would have commented on what he saw, if he hadn’t been so busy trying to get them home alive.


Ronon uncurled himself from the chair he’d been sitting in. Well, he’d been doing something in-between sitting up and lying down, a feat no one had invented a good word for yet. This trip had been so silent he was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Hopefully they’d reach Honl’s ship soon or he’d be forced to hit Sheppard over the head, to make that glaring-into-nothing expression go away.

*Honl’s ship is within scanner range,* Larrin’s voice suddenly could be heard over the speaker system. Both Ronon and Sheppard snapped to attention. *We will engage it as soon as we have the opportunity. Everyone get ready.*

“Engage it?!” Ronon had expected Sheppard to shout, so he didn’t even blink. Instead he focused an angry glare on the Travelers gathering around Larrin. So much for attempting to bargain…

A fight would most likely have broken out if they hadn’t all been distracted by a flash of white light, appearing in the middle of the room without warning.


If Radek hadn’t been so utterly exhausted when they materialized again, he would have laughed out loud at the open mouthed stares that greeted them – on all faces with the exception of Ronon’s of course. Though the man had his left eyebrow raised, which was as much as sign of shock as anyone ever saw on him.

“Could you please not point those at us right now,” Rodney hissed at the soldiers surrounding them. Weapons of all kinds were lowered. Rodney seemed a bit smug about having ordered so many armed men to just lower their weapons. He sort of smirked – then he passed out. Radek did mean to catch him, but a wave of dizziness washed over him the second Rodney closed his eyes, distracting him. Luckily the marines closest to them had good reflexes.

Radek felt a steady hand on his shoulder. Ronon was behind him, helping in keeping him on his feet most likely. His legs did feel embarrassingly unsteady. Colonel Sheppard, having assured himself that Rodney wasn’t injured, turned his attention to Radek. “What happened? I didn’t think any of you’d have a transporter on you.”

Holding up his right arm – which was visibly shaking at this point – Radek let the improvised teleport fall apart in his hand. Well, it hadn’t been built to hold for more than one trip anyways. “They had quite an impressive collection of Dart pieces in the room where they kept us. We adapted some of them to build this.” He gestured at the broken metal pieces on the floor. Colonel Sheppard raised an eyebrow, as if to say ‘impressive’. Ronon snorted.

“Sadly we also had to use parts of that.” This time Radek indicated the bracelet, still on Rodney’s arm. “Hopefully we will be able to repair it. It is quite useful.” That was when Radek’s body decided to demand some well deserved rest. Luckily Ronon was already in place to catch him.


Radek leaned against the railing on one of Atlantis’ many balconies, staring up at the sky. It had that pleasant, almost blinding blue color it only got when no clouds could be seen. If he stared at it long enough he’d hopefully be able to beg off work for a few days, due to retinal injuries. As fascinating as his current projects were, avoiding humiliation was worth the added trouble of conducting said research on his laptop, in his room.

Things had sorted themselves out quite well. No one had been badly injured, they’d managed to acquire the Empathy Enhancer (as Miko insisted on calling it, much to Colonel Sheppard’s irritation) in mostly one piece and they’d all gotten the rest of the week off. Now all he’d have to do was avoid Rodney for a month or two and perhaps they could forget all about the mortifying chaos on the ship.

“Ah, thought I’d find you here.” Trust McKay not to cooperate, even for a day. Radek stifled a sigh (and just maybe a nervous fidget) before tearing his gaze away from the cloud free sky above and met Rodney’s eyes.

They looked at each other. None of them said a word. The word awkward couldn’t quite do justice to their silent staring.

“So…” Rodney finally broke the silence, but failed to make the mood any less odd. “Uhm…this liking me; is it new?”

“I thought we weren’t going to talk about it.” Rodney was standing too close all of a sudden, leaning against the railing right next to him.

“We didn’t even talk about not talking about it.” Radek decided to ignore this comment and returned to staring at the sky.

Had there been crickets on Atlantis, this would have been the opportune moment for them to chirp. Radek kept looking up, but Rodney refused to leave. Instead he stood there, still as unnervingly close (though to be fair no closer than he usually stood, but circumstances had to count for something), for once not ranting or babbling. Radek had no idea what sort of a speech he was working himself up to, but the possibilities didn’t look good. Radek found himself fisting his hands so hard around the railing that his knuckles began to hurt.

Rodney shifted slightly and as if on cue he was off: “I had thought of asking you, you know, to…eh. It’s just - I’ve never been good at that and I just broke up with Katie a month ago, so… You’d think it’d be easier with, well, with another man, but it’s not, as I’m sure you know. We don’t really have time with dating here and I didn’t have a clue to what you’d answer. It’s already strange going to the botanists gardens, having the lab become-”

Radek’s eyes widened. It took him a while, but halfway into Rodney’s incoherent rant he got it. He smiled to himself. “Your room, tomorrow night at six. Dinner, no nutrition bars and no candles. Just food, a game of chess and possibly a movie.”

Radek pushed off the railing and walked inside. Behind him Rodney was left looking quite shocked, but also very, very pleased.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Listening to: Bad Day - R.E.M.
[name withheld]: sga: my chin your handduckduck on January 22nd, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
...what a cliff-hanger! Oh, I can't wait to see what you do with the next part! Thank you!
Nonesane: SGA meets Izzardnonesane on January 22nd, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
I'm very glad you liked it - I hadn't written in a while when I started on this, so I had no clue as to how it would turn out. Hope you like the rest as well!
[name withheld]: sga: eyes as blue as the seaduckduck on January 23rd, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Hee, I LOVE toppy, in-control Radek. It's like you read my mind in that last scene! Thank you!
Nonesane: SGA meets Izzardnonesane on January 24th, 2008 08:36 am (UTC)
Great to hear! Radek - to me - seems like the sort of person who'd be able to stay in control and think rationally at a moment like that, while Rodney tends to just babble and talk in circles *smile* Thank you for your patience when waiting for this; still don't know how I managed to confuse the 28th with the 20th...
rogue equestrian: SGA:: R/R I like you anywayelvinborn on January 25th, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC)
love this. I like the situation. And I loved Radek's taking control at the end. :D
Nonesane: SGA meets Izzardnonesane on February 12th, 2008 01:29 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm happy you enjoyed the story *smile*